Day 397: Life
We had a really wonderful weekend. My husband and I were supposed to go out of town for a concert, but it was cancelled at the last minute, so we stayed at home with nothing to do and a family member in town to watch our kids. The kids’ sports were all cancelled due to…
Day 392: Sitting with it
Like everyone, I dislike sitting with and in discomfort. I like to feel as though I’m actively doing something about it, or that I’m on my way to something better. But, sometimes there is nothing at all to do but to sit in it. I am uncomfortable in my body. I probably always have been.…
Day 392: Overload
I realize that another part of my “problem” currently is that I’m overloaded, both professionally and personally. At a certain point in my recovery journey, I listed a lot to the podcast “The Cure for Chronic Pain,” even though I do not have chronic pain. I have, however, come to believe that quite a lot…
Day 391: Doing Something
I wrote yesterday about how my recovery feels strong, but I feel… shaky. One of the main reasons for this is that the issues with my grad school professor surfaced again after a couple decades, I know. So, I decided to do something about it. When he sent the “apology” letter a couple weeks ago,…
Day 390.
I have taken a long hiatus from this blog, mostly because I feel “OK” these days and don’t need this specific outlet. Indeed, I passed the 1-year mark in recovery and I’m feeling secure. But, a lot has happened recently and has left me feeling out-of-sorts, which leads me to think that maybe I need…
One Year
I was scrolling through my Timehop today and saw a screenshot I took one year ago today: a shot of my day counter reading 298. I took that screenshot before I reset the counter back to 0. Today, I’m back to Day 204, suggesting that I was back in the recovery-relapse cycle for 161 days…
Godsend
I am 175 days into recovery *this* time. This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I started crying tears of gratitude and happiness. Just completely out of nowhere. If I had not been alone, I’m sure it would’ve scared whomever was around. I was thinking about how insanely blessed I am and how…
Billie Jean King
I’m flying for a quick trip to visit a friend, and I listened to a podcast I’ve been wanting to hear for awhile now. It’s Glennon Doyle’s interview with tennis legend Billie Jean King, and she talked so beautifully and frankly about so many topics. She suffered from an eating disorder after her retirement from…
Happy
I’ve realized that over the past several days, weeks, months, my overriding emotion has been happiness. Or, at least, contentment. I am feeling strong in my recovery and have tried to treat my body with more respect and compassion. I read a book recently which didn’t really provide any new information or insight, but it…
Investments
I’m going strong with recovery and finally feel like I’ve turned that corner when it gets somewhat easier. I’m just home from a vacation abroad with my husband, and at some point I smiled at the knowledge that whatever I ate, no matter how much bread and pasta and wine, I would keep it down.…
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I Quit: Giving up Bulimia 