Sometimes my thoughts just hit me out of nowhere, hard. Tonight, I was sitting on the couch resting for the first time today, with one kid snuggled up on my lap and the other next to me, after I’d just gotten home from a long day at work. And all of a sudden, right out of nowhere, I discovered myself thinking, I have that box of cake mix in the pantry, and I think a can of frosting, too. After the kids are asleep, I’ll make that up and eat it. As in, eat all of it. Binge. Purge.

Where did that come from? I had a pretty good day. I worked out hard this morning, kept myself on track even while lunching with a friend (yay for us both being vaccinated!!), and was feeling happy and content. My mind betrays me sometimes. That old thinking can creep in so easily when I’m not hyper-vigilant.

I brushed the thought aside and had some chocolate covered raisins for a sweet indulgence tonight. Day 69.

Published by Quitter

I’m a college professor, wife, and mother of 2 small kids. I’m on a recovery journey 20 years in the making.

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