My parents came to visit for the Thanksgiving holiday. This is different from most previous years, where we traveled with the kids and tried to see everyone on both sides of the family in four days. That was exhausting and stressful, but it was also fun to catch up and see everyone for the holiday.Continue reading “Family”
Tag Archives: bulimia recovery
Day 3.
Day 3 was sloppy. I’m at the end of the day, sitting in bed, having brushed my teeth and knowing that I did in fact “make it,” but it wasn’t pretty. I’ve been trying to figure out what sets me “off” for this feeling, and I honestly think it’s when I eat breakfast when IContinue reading “Day 3.”
Day 1.
I’m back to the beginning, Day 1. Today, I decided that I’m going to stop feeling disappointed and dejected that I relapsed after nearly 300 days of recovery. Instead, I’m going to treat this as a blank slate, a chance to start anew with hope and excitement, and as a learning experience to see howContinue reading “Day 1.”
Hard Reset
My day counter reads like elementary coding. 0 days, 1 day, 0, 1, 0, 1, 0. Today is Day 1. Actually, it hasn’t even been 24 hours since my last purge, but I’m going with it. Day 1. Back to the start. I’ve decided that I truly need to go back to the start andContinue reading “Hard Reset”
Graduation
Today, my therapist and I decided that I’ve graduated, more or less. I’m going to see her in a month and we’ll decide whether the monthly check-ins will work, whether I need more frequent sessions, or whether we’re ready for a break. She said, “You are an entirely different person than you were when weContinue reading “Graduation”
Realization
About 6 months ago, I went to my GP with a complaint of shoulder pain. It’s something with which I’ve struggled every month right before my period, and it got to the point of being unbearable. This is an issue that began when I was pregnant with my first child 7 years ago, and itContinue reading “Realization”
Hip Flexors
My hip flexors are always terribly tight. I know it sounds ridiculous, but in my speciality, I end up using (and misusing) them all the time, which means that sometimes I’m creating patterns with my feet for 8 hours a day, at the expense of my hip flexors (mysterious, I know…). So, coupled with prettyContinue reading “Hip Flexors”
150
Here’s to 150 days since my last purge! 5 months of recovery down, and a lifetime to go. I’m feeling good these days, and while eating is still a struggle on some days, I can pretty certainly say that purging does not feel like an option anymore. I’ve worked through some pretty major issues withContinue reading “150”
Intuition
I have always been a decisive person, but I don’t know whether that is necessarily “intuition” or whether I am just quick to know what I like and want, without later regret or overthinking. In our book discussion at that women’s “retreat” last week, we discussed the notion of intuition. Lately, I’ve felt more lost,Continue reading “Intuition”
Book
I tossed out a little book today that I have had for years. In it, I meticulously charted my measurements: calves, thighs, waist, hips, bust. These measurements appear in my own personal shorthand, sometimes accompanied by summaries of the week’s workouts. The first entry was from 2014, after the birth of my first child, backContinue reading “Book”
I Quit: Giving up Bulimia 