We have had chocolate frosting sitting in our pantry for roughly 125 hours. My mom came to town this week to help with my school-aged son, who has spring break, while the college I teach at does not. She asked me to buy chocolate frosting for a baking project she wanted to do with the kids. So, I bought it a few days ago when I had time to run to the store.

And it has just been sitting there on a shelf, taunting me.

Some things are still very hard for me to keep around—obviously, chocolate frosting is one of those. I would love nothing more than to swoop in with a spoon and eat that entire can. I don’t feel the same about vanilla frosting, or that god-awful brightly colored stuff my daughter insists upon. But something about that chocolate frosting beckons me.

It has been harder than I imagined to not be entirely in control of that one item in my home. I mentally prepare for Halloween and Easter candy, and I consider my kids’ stashes “off limits.” I am the one who cooks and bakes in our house, so I control when ingredients come into our home. More than once I’ve tossed a perfectly good bag of chocolate chips, Hershey’s kisses, or whatever item we needed for a future baking activity, when it became clear that I couldn’t handle the stressor.

But, this frosting. I have thought about it an embarrassing number of times. I cannot be in the house without knowing it’s also there. I am anxious for them to finally do the damn baking project (which I know my kids won’t like–oddly enough, they singularly don’t like chocolate frosting)… at least I have proven to myself that I can do it, even if it makes me a little crazy?? Day 89.

Published by Quitter

I’m a college professor, wife, and mother of 2 small kids. I’m on a recovery journey 20 years in the making.

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