Mom

I’ve avoided this topic over the last several months. I have a complicated relationship with my mom, but I’m relatively sure that I’m the only one in this duo who feels that way. We talk almost every day, but it’s mostly a quick call to discuss the weather and what the kids are up that that particular day.

I have a lot of grievances. I don’t quite know where to begin. But what I do know is that it has been proven many, many times that she will not change. She gets defensive and angry, and in the end it hurts only me. It often ends with an extended period of silence on her end, without explanation, until she one day calls me up and chats about the impending rain.

She has been a constant in my life; I appreciate that. She made sure that my physical needs were met as a child; I appreciate that. She loves my children and is a good grandmother, and I value that beyond words.

But, there was a lot of trauma. There still is.

Day 92.