Optimism

My therapist told me that I’m an optimist, and I exploded with laughter. I have always thought of myself as a pessimist. I see all the potential errors, the pitfalls, the accidents waiting to happen. At any given moment, I could tell you five different ways my children could die, all more horrible than the last.

She argued that trying to prepare and control chaos is different than pessimism. She pointed out that I am continually disappointed by people and situations because I truly believe that situations SHOULD work out, that people ARE good and will do the right thing with integrity. And, of course, I do. It floors me that someone might not want to do their best work at all times. I am truly surprised when things go wrong, even though I’ve planned for every contingency.

Who would’ve thought. Certainly not I…

Day 105.