Rest

Today is a “rest day” for me. As in, I won’t tax my already taxed body by demanding it physically atone for my sins (eating). I have long begrudged these days—they’re wasted, frivolous, unproductive. I feel like I’ve failed in the omission.

But, I’m working in therapy on “allowances,” and this is one thing I need to reframe my thinking on. My body needs the rest—I’ve worked out really hard, really heavy, the last two days. I’m sore, and beyond the usual “good” soreness, I feel those little twinges that caution not to push it or risk injury.

And so, I’m trying to look forward to my day of rest. I’m not going to pretend that I’ll “see” if I can find the energy for a quick nighttime workout session, knowing I won’t. I’m going to accept the day as one of recovery and renewal, and try not to let the guilty thoughts and feelings of worthlessness win. Day 74.