I realize my progress in tiny moments which are really pretty big, for me. Saturday night, we hosted about 20 of my colleagues for an outdoor, distanced backyard get-together around one of our fire pits. We had a huge spread of cheese and crackers (my ultimate weakness) and made s’mores around the fire (chocolate–my other weakness). We also belatedly celebrated national G&T day with some of my favorite alcoholic beverages (which usually lowers my restraint and inhibitions).

I never overthought my decisions or felt guilty about them. I was just so happy to be together with fully vaccinated friends having a somewhat “normal” evening.

And the next morning, I realized that I didn’t have that panic-anxiety welling in my chest telling me to go throw it all up. I didn’t even consider it after the night had wrapped up and we were getting ready for bed. So, progress.

Day 109.

Published by Quitter

I’m a college professor, wife, and mother of 2 small kids. I’m on a recovery journey 20 years in the making.

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