Man, I don’t know what is up today. My husband and my kids are grumpier than they’ve been in a long time. I’m not necessarily in the best mood myself, but I’m trying. I’m writing this on Sunday, so it’s a “stay home” day, and pouring rain all day to boot.

This brings me to a quality about myself that I don’t care for. I know that I’m a recovering perfectionist, with people-pleasing at the top of my list. I tend toward the “fawn” response to fear or threat, which includes disregarding your own feelings to make things better for everyone else. I have to admit, my initial response was to scan the room and assess everyone’s moods, panicking a little about how I would single-handedly turn it all around; it was only much later that I realized that I too am pretty darn crabby today.

I struggle with this a little. I mean, if I get on the grumpy wagon, then this house is going to hell today. If I don’t try to distract the kids with something fun and put on a smile, then there is no hope of saving this day… And so, I just told them that we needed to get out of the grumpy-wumpies and do something extra fun to make us smile. We destroyed the playroom and made a huge fort that will take hours to clean up.

I’m still crabby, but my kids are laughing and having fun. So, I guess in this instance, my putting my own feelings aside was the right choice?

I don’t know if this is a moon phase thing or what, but I cannot wait for bedtime already (it’s 10AM…).

Day 142.

Published by Quitter

I’m a college professor, wife, and mother of 2 small kids. I’m on a recovery journey 20 years in the making.

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