Back to 0 today. I had racked up a solid 11 days that felt… tough, but not impossible. And today, out of nowhere, I just up and decided to purge. I honestly can’t figure out what’s going on. I don’t feel tremendous stress. I’m happy in my relationships and with my kids. I feel pretty much like I have my shit together. What’s happening???
I kind of know the answer… I have been phoning in my recovery. I was really focused for the first few days, and then I let things slip. Today I didn’t plan time to eat, so I was famished by 3:00 when I finally had time for lunch, and I didn’t feel great about the choices I made. I was still in that mindset when I got home early from work, and I just let go without really even having the will to stop in the moment, even though I probably could have.
Sigh. Here we go.
Day 0. A-fucking-GAIN.