Weary

My soul is weary. I spent last night reading about the tragedy in Texas, and sleep was not to be. Today, my 4-year-old’s last question before she got out of the car at school drop-off was, “Mommy, were the kids who were killed scared?”

I am so weary of this. My soul aches every time we see the headlines of school shootings, and I can barely breathe when my children tell me about their active shooter drills at school, hiding from “the monsters” and playing “the quiet game” while they ball themselves up under desks.

I was just dismissed from jury duty, where I felt a growing sense of unease the past three days. Our justice system is so precarious. It is so unjust in so many ways. I am weary.

Day 57.