relapse – I Quit: Giving up Bulimia

One Year

I was scrolling through my Timehop today and saw a screenshot I took one year ago today: a shot of my day counter reading 298. I took that screenshot before I reset the counter back to 0. Today, I’m back to Day 204, suggesting that I was back in the recovery-relapse cycle for 161 daysContinue reading “One Year”

Godsend

I am 175 days into recovery *this* time. This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I started crying tears of gratitude and happiness. Just completely out of nowhere. If I had not been alone, I’m sure it would’ve scared whomever was around. I was thinking about how insanely blessed I am and howContinue reading “Godsend”

Billie Jean King

I’m flying for a quick trip to visit a friend, and I listened to a podcast I’ve been wanting to hear for awhile now. It’s Glennon Doyle’s interview with tennis legend Billie Jean King, and she talked so beautifully and frankly about so many topics. She suffered from an eating disorder after her retirement fromContinue reading “Billie Jean King”

Happy

I’ve realized that over the past several days, weeks, months, my overriding emotion has been happiness. Or, at least, contentment. I am feeling strong in my recovery and have tried to treat my body with more respect and compassion. I read a book recently which didn’t really provide any new information or insight, but itContinue reading “Happy”

Investments

I’m going strong with recovery and finally feel like I’ve turned that corner when it gets somewhat easier. I’m just home from a vacation abroad with my husband, and at some point I smiled at the knowledge that whatever I ate, no matter how much bread and pasta and wine, I would keep it down.Continue reading “Investments”

Pieces

For the past while, I’ve been seeing my therapist only once a month. This feels both good and bad. I’m “OK” while meeting monthly, though there are often times between meetings when I feel like I could really use a quicker session. But, it’s also forced me to sit with all the feelings and situationsContinue reading “Pieces”

Relentless

I’m doing OK in my recovery and eating. I’m feeling less restless with the recovery and feeling slightly better about the bloating and discomfort. I’ve come to accept that I can’t just stubbornly eat broccoli every day, and I can’t down La Croix all day long without suffering from terrible gas discomfort. So, I’ve temperedContinue reading “Relentless”

Overtraining

I realized last night when I couldn’t sleep that I’ve been experiencing symptoms of overtraining for awhile. Or, I guess I should technically say “overreaching” (the more accurate term for the shorter term, less severe condition). I have been pushing myself super hard the past month or so to work out every day, doing moreContinue reading “Overtraining”

Bloating

I have been bloated my entire life, with the exception of vacations. On vacation, I eat less fruit and vegetables and drink less (well, more alcohol, but less other liquids) because I don’t want to have to pee all the time. I’ve spent my whole life “sucking in,” because if I didn’t, I would lookContinue reading “Bloating”

Taking Care

The summer is typically my time to reset. It’s a busy time with running the kids to a million camps and activities, but my own work schedule slows way down and my work can be completed at home whenever I choose. So, it’s typically my time to take care of myself–doctor’s appointments, haircut and color,Continue reading “Taking Care”