The Hump

Day 10. It’s hard for me to get into the double digits, but once I do, I typically do OK with recovery. That is, I might get to 20 days, or maybe 3 months, or maybe even longer. But, I have always relapsed in the past. My therapist maddeningly says, “Never say never!” As in, this will always happen. I will always relapse; it is more honest to acknowledge that I am more likely to relapse than not, whether it’s after 2 days, 2 months, 2 years. This infuriates me.

At some point, it WILL be the last time. At some point, I will be recovered, and that last time will have been the last time. But, I understand her perspective. It’s better to be vigilant and keep fighting this good fight than to get complacent and call myself “recovered”. Maybe especially after only 10 days, ha! But, let’s keep counting…