Puffy

These are the days I hate, the days that scare me and shake my resolve. During the four or five days before my period each month, I just feel so puffy. My face feels chipmunk-esque. My stomach puffs out, inches come out of nowhere and adhere to my hips. I feel like my insides all just “let go” and stretch against the normal casing of my skin. I can see it in the mirror and feel it in my jeans. I am puffy, and I hate it.

My husband claims he can’t tell a difference. I don’t know how. I feel like I can’t even smile or talk properly with the extra chubbiness, like I might pop from all the straining in places.

I know that premenstrual bloating is “normal,” that I should exercise to feel better, avoid excess salt and drink more water. But all I want to do is lie in bed and wait for the misery to end a week from now. I feel lethargic and loafing.

These are the hardest days of each month —the days when it’s hard not to just succumb to the disordered thinking and behaviors.

Day 78.