Uphill Battle

I had a really nice weekend. We enjoyed time with our kids, and we managed to see several different friend groups (even though Holy Week is always the busiest week of all for church workers!). At the same time, I found and find myself feeling… uncomfortable.

I’ve gained a couple pounds. I just cannot NOT see it. I see the extra tightness in my jeans and the strain in the arms of my shirts. I see my cheeks just a bit fuller, and my stomach feels uncomfortable when I sit. That’s just how I feel and what I see.

At the same time, I’m working out a manageable amount. I work with my trainer three times a week and typically do something else at least two other days. So, I feel like I’m being more physically active than the general population, but still, I’m seeing weight increase that I’m not thrilled about.

I know that the “answer” for me is to really buckle down and clean up my eating, nix alcohol entirely for a month or so, and redouble my workout efforts.


I’m also tired–this is a busy time of year. I’m also trying to eat intuitively. I’m also truly enjoying my time with friends, which often includes a couple drinks and a cheese plate.

I understand where the extra weight is coming from, and I understand that I’m not engaging in the all-out asceticism that I’d need to get it off. It’s frustrating to me. I’ve always been the type of person to put weight on incredibly easily–if I’m not 100% on top of my nutrition and exercise game, I will weigh more at the end of just a couple days. It’s infuriating. Maybe it’s a part of getting older.. or maybe it’s just the busyness of the past few months creeping up.

I’m dedicated to recovery and living a healthier life, but wherever I am in this journey right now isn’t comfortable. At all.

Day 20.

Published by Quitter

I’m a college professor, wife, and mother of 2 small kids. I’m on a recovery journey 20 years in the making.

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