mothers – I Quit: Giving up Bulimia

Mom IX

I learned long ago to only talk to my mom on my own terms. I never answer when she calls; I find a time when I genuinely want to talk to her and cultivate my most generous attitude. I physically smile before I make the call, and then I dive in. But, I realized theContinue reading “Mom IX”

Mom VIII

My therapist suggested something I hadn’t considered: my children are now my mother’s purpose in life, and as such, they will be the ones to change her, if it is ever to happen. Nothing that I have ever done has elicited change in her behavior or character; but, every time she leaves our house sheContinue reading “Mom VIII”

Mom VII

I’ve been trying to imagine what goes through my mom’s head regarding body image. I know that she has been wildly uncomfortable with her body and herself. I know that she was hospitalized in either high school or college for anorexia (though I mistrust my old memories so much now… who told me that? DidContinue reading “Mom VII”

Mom VI

My mom has apologized for her past behavior more than once. I had recently told my therapist that all I wanted was for my mom to acknowledge that my childhood was pretty awful, and for her to just apologize for her role without getting defensive or trying to explain it away. My therapist asked ifContinue reading “Mom VI”

Mom V

My therapist recently asked whether my mom “deserves” to be in my life and have the relationships with my kids that she enjoys. I struggled to answer that. My primary struggle was not in determining whether my mom in specific is “deserving,” but rather what it means in general if I start thinking along thoseContinue reading “Mom V”

Mom IV

The night before my wedding, my mom drank too much wine (for her that is maybe two glasses) and made a fool of herself while the wedding party finished up preparing party favors and name cards. My best friend yelled at her; my mom has not talked to my friend since that day and unfollowedContinue reading “Mom IV”