The night before my wedding, my mom drank too much wine (for her that is maybe two glasses) and made a fool of herself while the wedding party finished up preparing party favors and name cards. My best friend yelled at her; my mom has not talked to my friend since that day and unfollowed her on social media. Later, after everything had been cleared up and put away, I (bone tired) finally managed to get to sleep, aware of the fact that I’d be up again in 5 hours to have a wedding-morning breakfast with my husband before the frenzy of the day.
It was about 1AM when my mom knocked on my hotel room door (long story–my husband and I were living in two different states and both flew in to meet in a third state for the wedding…. it was stressful). She was sobbing and demanded that I come out in the hall to talk with her; I thought someone had died. She was worried that I would go off with my husband and “forget about” her and never talk to her again. I spent the next hour assuring my mom that I would still see her and that I had, in fact, made several plans to visit just in the upcoming year–plans that were really hard on my schedule.
I can’t get that night out of my head. The night before MY wedding, my mother made it all about her. Instead of assuring me and telling me how happy she was for me, so made it about how MY marriage was impacting her. I thought about it all night and even thought about it the next day during my actual wedding ceremony. I haven’t forgiven her for that.