anxiety – I Quit: Giving up Bulimia

Day 5.

I am working on naming the emotions I’m feeling in the moment, and trying to get to the root cause of them. My therapist has suggested writing an action list for how I can start to feel better about these things, or how I might respond to a “worst case” scenario, but sometimes it’s hardContinue reading “Day 5.”

Day 4.

This has been a fulfilling weekend, with lots of family time. But, we were stuck inside all day Saturday with a kiddo’s tournament, and all day today due to miserable icy weather. I indulged in some larger portions and higher-fat foods than I usually might, and I’m in my personal “hell week” — the weekContinue reading “Day 4.”

Day 2.

My anxiety has been running high lately, and I finally had a session (after, frustratingly, several re-schedulings) with my therapist. She urged me to think of why I feel these waves of panic, and I think I’ve finally come to some truths. I think that I am scared, which is not comfortable for me. InContinue reading “Day 2.”

Seriously?

So, yesterday I wrote about the “women’s retreat” I begrudgingly am participating in with some colleagues (friends?). I wrote that it is uncomfortable and a bit ridiculous, but sometimes feels worthwhile. I’m not going to take that back entirely, but I am going to vent for a minute. Today, we were talking about something inContinue reading “Seriously?”

Fret

I fret by nature—I can just immediately see things through to their final, horrible completions, and then I impotently await the awful outcomes. I can see accidents waiting the happen, injuries just waiting to occur. Miraculously, I’m not a hovering sort of mother—I don’t impede my kids’ childhood fun by telling them all the wayContinue reading “Fret”

Dread

Sometimes, when I think of what it would take to unravel my life, I get this immediate and heavy boulder in my gut. I can see my husband spinning out and crashing on black ice—and then what? What do I do with the monthly mortgage that is 20% of my annual salary? What do IContinue reading “Dread”

Traumas

I have been reading some books about trauma that I don’t entirely agree with, but that scare me nonetheless. I’m waiting on The Body Keeps Score through a library hold, and I’m anxious to see what that book holds. In the meantime, I’ve been reading some books by Dr. Peter Levine–the one who does allContinue reading “Traumas”

Breathe

For a long time, I felt like I just didn’t have space to breathe. When my kids were younger (they’re 3 and 6 now), I felt like I just never had a moment to sit and breathe, to exhale and let everything go. I always had to be on guard. I (felt like I) couldn’tContinue reading “Breathe”