I’ve avoided this topic over the last several months. I have a complicated relationship with my mom, but I’m relatively sure that I’m the only one in this duo who feels that way. We talk almost every day, but it’s mostly a quick call to discuss the weather and what the kids are up thatContinue reading “Mom”
Tag Archives: eating disorder
Estrangement II
As I was recently wrestling with feelings surrounding my brother’s estrangement from me, I realized that estrangement has permeated our family for as long as I can remember. After my paternal grandmother’s death more than a decade ago, my paternal grandfather went off the rails and refused to talk to anyone in our family. HeContinue reading “Estrangement II”
Confession II
Looks like it’s time for another confession. This is one that I could confess nearly every day for my entire life, or at least every week… I recently watched a colleague of mine give a presentation. She is actually a very good friend. We text frequently and get together for lunches, and we hang outContinue reading “Confession II”
Frosting
We have had chocolate frosting sitting in our pantry for roughly 125 hours. My mom came to town this week to help with my school-aged son, who has spring break, while the college I teach at does not. She asked me to buy chocolate frosting for a baking project she wanted to do with theContinue reading “Frosting”
Grandma
My grandma and I were not insanely close, but I did love her dearly, and I have such fond memories of her. She possessed all of her mental (and physical) faculties right up until she died of advanced pancreatic cancer this past summer. We talked at least every week if not more, and she sentContinue reading “Grandma”
Dream
I have recently begun remembering my dreams. I dream often, but I rarely remember them. Recently, I’ve been taking more of an interest in my dreams and have actively tried to recall them in the morning. Last night, I dreamt of my eating disorder. I dreamed that I reverted back to bingeing and purging, andContinue reading “Dream”
Pain
For the past several days, I’ve been experiencing some odd, though not necessarily new, pains in various parts of my body. It’s a sort of “zinging” pain, something akin to an electric shooting, a vibrating pulsation. I feel it across my shoulders, in the base of my neck, my elbows. It’s accompanied by an iron-likeContinue reading “Pain”
Ribs
Somewhere over the past decade (during two pregnancies, I guess), my ribs expanded. Among various other changes, my ribcage actually got bigger and stayed that way. My feet did the same. I have accepted this as an immutable reality. My ribs are just bigger. They will never again be squeezed into a size 2 straplessContinue reading “Ribs”
Confession
I recently read the blog of a former student who had become a personal trainer a few years back. She wrote that she was still working hard at fitness, still training, but had added not insignificant weight and curves since the pandemic hit; and, she LOVES, LOVES her new, curvier, heavier body. I have toContinue reading “Confession”
Progress
After writing my last blog, I was suddenly stuck by a thought: Holy shit! I have come so far. SO. FAR. I sometimes discredit the work I’ve done over the past decade because I’m not at the finish line yet. But, it doesn’t negate the steps that I’ve taken. I have BREAD IN MY HOUSE,Continue reading “Progress”
I Quit: Giving up Bulimia 