I’m taking a break from my “Mom series” to reflect a little on mortality… and shame. Today I learned that a classmate of mine from undergrad (same department and year at a small liberal arts college) died suddenly last night. She was 38. They don’t know yet what the cause of her death was, butContinue reading “Shame”
Tag Archives: eating disorder
Mom VI
My mom has apologized for her past behavior more than once. I had recently told my therapist that all I wanted was for my mom to acknowledge that my childhood was pretty awful, and for her to just apologize for her role without getting defensive or trying to explain it away. My therapist asked ifContinue reading “Mom VI”
Mom V
My therapist recently asked whether my mom “deserves” to be in my life and have the relationships with my kids that she enjoys. I struggled to answer that. My primary struggle was not in determining whether my mom in specific is “deserving,” but rather what it means in general if I start thinking along thoseContinue reading “Mom V”
Mom IV
The night before my wedding, my mom drank too much wine (for her that is maybe two glasses) and made a fool of herself while the wedding party finished up preparing party favors and name cards. My best friend yelled at her; my mom has not talked to my friend since that day and unfollowedContinue reading “Mom IV”
Mom III
My therapist suggested that I outline my top 5 grievances and approach my mom with them in an email. I balked. Honestly, I don’t know what my top 5 are. There’s not necessarily a list of specifics for me–it’s more general: The fact that she didn’t allow us to have feelings or to cry. TheContinue reading “Mom III”
Mom II
I don’t know how long this little Mom series might last… it could be awhile. Today I’ve been thinking about some of my major traumatic memories. My mom didn’t necessarily cause all of the trauma, but she didn’t help ease it, either. We have always walked on eggshells around my mother. Everyone’s primary job atContinue reading “Mom II”
Mom
I’ve avoided this topic over the last several months. I have a complicated relationship with my mom, but I’m relatively sure that I’m the only one in this duo who feels that way. We talk almost every day, but it’s mostly a quick call to discuss the weather and what the kids are up thatContinue reading “Mom”
Estrangement II
As I was recently wrestling with feelings surrounding my brother’s estrangement from me, I realized that estrangement has permeated our family for as long as I can remember. After my paternal grandmother’s death more than a decade ago, my paternal grandfather went off the rails and refused to talk to anyone in our family. HeContinue reading “Estrangement II”
Confession II
Looks like it’s time for another confession. This is one that I could confess nearly every day for my entire life, or at least every week… I recently watched a colleague of mine give a presentation. She is actually a very good friend. We text frequently and get together for lunches, and we hang outContinue reading “Confession II”
Frosting
We have had chocolate frosting sitting in our pantry for roughly 125 hours. My mom came to town this week to help with my school-aged son, who has spring break, while the college I teach at does not. She asked me to buy chocolate frosting for a baking project she wanted to do with theContinue reading “Frosting”
I Quit: Giving up Bulimia 