Uncategorized – Page 9 – I Quit: Giving up Bulimia

Doozies

I’ve started reading Intuitive Eating at the recommendation of another blogger on this site (thank you!). I like the idea of eating intuitively—it feels very liberating to think of foods not being “bad”, thinking of all foods as being available options. But, I first skimmed the book thinking, Hmm. I don’t know. I’m not sureContinue reading “Doozies”

Intuition

I have always been a decisive person, but I don’t know whether that is necessarily “intuition” or whether I am just quick to know what I like and want, without later regret or overthinking. In our book discussion at that women’s “retreat” last week, we discussed the notion of intuition. Lately, I’ve felt more lost,Continue reading “Intuition”

Book

I tossed out a little book today that I have had for years. In it, I meticulously charted my measurements: calves, thighs, waist, hips, bust. These measurements appear in my own personal shorthand, sometimes accompanied by summaries of the week’s workouts. The first entry was from 2014, after the birth of my first child, backContinue reading “Book”

Friends

My therapist has been gently (sometimes not-so-gently) pushing me to consider my friend groups. I have three types of friends, I guess. My “real” friends–the ones I would call if I found out horrible new. My “local” friends–the ones I would call for lunch. And, my “local parent” friends–the ones with kids. There are notContinue reading “Friends”

Mood

Man, I don’t know what is up today. My husband and my kids are grumpier than they’ve been in a long time. I’m not necessarily in the best mood myself, but I’m trying. I’m writing this on Sunday, so it’s a “stay home” day, and pouring rain all day to boot. This brings me toContinue reading “Mood”

Headaches

My daily morning headaches have returned, and I can’t quite figure it out. I’m not really anxious or more stressed than usual. I truly do believe that they are psychosomatic many times, but I am frustrated not to be able to suss out the root cause. I have felt lately that I’ve lost my “neutral”Continue reading “Headaches”

Seriously?

So, yesterday I wrote about the “women’s retreat” I begrudgingly am participating in with some colleagues (friends?). I wrote that it is uncomfortable and a bit ridiculous, but sometimes feels worthwhile. I’m not going to take that back entirely, but I am going to vent for a minute. Today, we were talking about something inContinue reading “Seriously?”

Self-Love

I am doing something this week that I never, ever would have thought I’d do. I am attending a “women’s retreat” in the home of a colleague, which she is leading for a group of 12 of us from my university. We span several age groups–mostly 30 through 40-year-olds, with two younger and one olderContinue reading “Self-Love”

Drained

I guess I’m just emotionally drained lately. I keep thinking of how I should respond to my mom and why I can’t get my heart to listen to my head. I KNOW that I shouldn’t let her responses mar my memories or taint my feelings toward certain events, but I just can’t make my heartContinue reading “Drained”

Guilt

I grew up in an incredibly conservative religious denomination with a narcissistic mother and bipolar father. So, I’ve experienced a lot of guilt over the years. I legitimately feel guilty right now, which just brought out a realization: I haven’t suffered from lingering guilt in a long time–at some point, it stopped being the normContinue reading “Guilt”