Uncategorized – Page 5 – I Quit: Giving up Bulimia

Safeguard

I am working my way down from the slippery slope… my ED came on pretty strong in the aftermath of getting my kids chicken finger meals from a local fast food restaurant. That wasn’t really in my plans for today, but neither was sitting at a pediatric urgent care for 2 hours (kiddo is totallyContinue reading “Safeguard”

Baklava

I’m considering today a success, having eaten FOUR pieces of baklava as my entire food intake thus far today (it’s 3PM). Now, I didn’t plan on eating baklava at all, but it is one of the (many) desserts that I simply cannot resist. We have a student group on campus that orders the MOST AMAZINGContinue reading “Baklava”

Fatigue

My body feels so tired today, despite an appropriate amount of sleep. It’s probably several factors–less rest days from workouts, seasonal allergies, work stress, my period. I was aggravated when I woke up with this feeling, since I had planned time for a workout this morning (especially after eating more than usual yesterday). But, IContinue reading “Fatigue”

Famished

I try to embrace intuitive eating. This is challenging for me, since the last time I really ate intuitively was probably 35 years ago… But, I’m trying to trust my body. This means that some days, I listen to my body and I say, “Seriously? You’re STILL hungry?” and then I keep eating. Today wasContinue reading “Famished”

Steps

I’m not the type to count my daily steps. I am an active person, and I am generally on my feet–I know that I am stepping a-plenty. After birthing complications with my second kid led my thyroid to quit, my life spiraled out of control with fatigue and weight gain, and I bought a FitbitContinue reading “Steps”

Gifts

Throughout my childhood, my mom struggled with anorexia. It was her way of controlling something in the chaos of my dad’s mental illness. I can empathize with that, but at the same time, it makes me so angry, because I know that a lot of my eating disorder was learned from her. In my darkestContinue reading “Gifts”

Investments

I’ve been thinking of the things I invest in, and how it’s possible that I haven’t invested seriously in recovery lately. I used to feel guilty over spending money–not just because it’s my husband who makes the vast majority of our money, but also because I was raised without having money. We didn’t have muchContinue reading “Investments”

Time

I have had more time this semester than usual. I typically have an overload every semester, but due to the college crisis of students not enrolling wit the pandemic/gap years/who knows what, and due to my largest-ever class of graduates last spring, I am slightly under load. (Now, I teach at a small liberal artsContinue reading “Time”

The Work

I am accustomed to challenges. I love a good challenge–a big performance, peer review, promotion, journal article. But, I realized recently that part of what’s keeping me stuck in this relapse cycle is a feeling of… apathy, maybe? That’s not quite the right word, but I don’t know what is. It’s not depression, necessarily, orContinue reading “The Work”

If Only…

I think on a regular basis that if only I could get my eating/bingeing/purging under control, I’d be able to achieve the body I’ve always wanted. I mean, my exercise and training game are on point, and I’m dedicated to my physical fitness. It’s something I go crazy without, and so I invest in it–myContinue reading “If Only…”