Today, my therapist and I decided that I’ve graduated, more or less. I’m going to see her in a month and we’ll decide whether the monthly check-ins will work, whether I need more frequent sessions, or whether we’re ready for a break. She said, “You are an entirely different person than you were when weContinue reading “Graduation”
Tag Archives: eating disorder
Hip Flexors
My hip flexors are always terribly tight. I know it sounds ridiculous, but in my speciality, I end up using (and misusing) them all the time, which means that sometimes I’m creating patterns with my feet for 8 hours a day, at the expense of my hip flexors (mysterious, I know…). So, coupled with prettyContinue reading “Hip Flexors”
150
Here’s to 150 days since my last purge! 5 months of recovery down, and a lifetime to go. I’m feeling good these days, and while eating is still a struggle on some days, I can pretty certainly say that purging does not feel like an option anymore. I’ve worked through some pretty major issues withContinue reading “150”
Intuition
I have always been a decisive person, but I don’t know whether that is necessarily “intuition” or whether I am just quick to know what I like and want, without later regret or overthinking. In our book discussion at that women’s “retreat” last week, we discussed the notion of intuition. Lately, I’ve felt more lost,Continue reading “Intuition”
Book
I tossed out a little book today that I have had for years. In it, I meticulously charted my measurements: calves, thighs, waist, hips, bust. These measurements appear in my own personal shorthand, sometimes accompanied by summaries of the week’s workouts. The first entry was from 2014, after the birth of my first child, backContinue reading “Book”
Mood
Man, I don’t know what is up today. My husband and my kids are grumpier than they’ve been in a long time. I’m not necessarily in the best mood myself, but I’m trying. I’m writing this on Sunday, so it’s a “stay home” day, and pouring rain all day to boot. This brings me toContinue reading “Mood”
Headaches
My daily morning headaches have returned, and I can’t quite figure it out. I’m not really anxious or more stressed than usual. I truly do believe that they are psychosomatic many times, but I am frustrated not to be able to suss out the root cause. I have felt lately that I’ve lost my “neutral”Continue reading “Headaches”
Seriously?
So, yesterday I wrote about the “women’s retreat” I begrudgingly am participating in with some colleagues (friends?). I wrote that it is uncomfortable and a bit ridiculous, but sometimes feels worthwhile. I’m not going to take that back entirely, but I am going to vent for a minute. Today, we were talking about something inContinue reading “Seriously?”
Self-Love
I am doing something this week that I never, ever would have thought I’d do. I am attending a “women’s retreat” in the home of a colleague, which she is leading for a group of 12 of us from my university. We span several age groups–mostly 30 through 40-year-olds, with two younger and one olderContinue reading “Self-Love”
Drained
I guess I’m just emotionally drained lately. I keep thinking of how I should respond to my mom and why I can’t get my heart to listen to my head. I KNOW that I shouldn’t let her responses mar my memories or taint my feelings toward certain events, but I just can’t make my heartContinue reading “Drained”
I Quit: Giving up Bulimia 